Monday, June 24, 2019

I've learned a lot....

I'm continuously learning and trying to devour as much information as possible, there are just only so many hours in my day and too many subjects I need to "learn." But "perfect is the enemy of good." It's not going to be perfect. Far from it. It just has to be "good." It just has to be "good enough."

I'm coming.

I'm coming for the Court of Public Opinion. 

I've learned a lot of this little "journey" of mine, which has nearly killed me and may very well kill me in the end. But I've learned and I'm adapting and I'm strategizing and I'm thinking and I'm planning and I'm constantly, constantly thinking and strategizing. But I will be "filing in the Court of Public Opinion." If I have to do it on my death bed, so help me God, I'll be filing in the Court of Public Opinion. 

My mood oscillates. Sometimes I think there's just no way I'm going to be able to "pull this off" and I'm not really sure that the powers that be will even care or do anything about it anyway. My faith has been shaken to the core. I oscillate between a sense of defeat and utter and complete rage. This is appalling. This is a stain on our nation. Even the great Roman Empire fell. We are not infallible. If we don't get our "stuff" together and do it pretty soon, we are going to be in serious jeopardy and in serious risk of "something," which I'm not really at liberty to discuss. 

It's a "thankless" job. It's a brutal job and there is little, if any, "payoff," ever. I'm talking in actuality and in practicality. I'm dying for our country and I've come awful close to having died and I'm still at serious risk of dying (literally), but as God as my witness, in my "final act," I'm going to be "filing." I'm going to be filing in the Court of Public Opinion (among other things). 

I got my cats back!! All's "right" with the world...for now (Thank you God!!)

This is just the "Cat Power" I've needed for a long, long time to hopefully try "do what I need to do," which is a giant, giant, "if!" But at least I have my boys back, I needed them...spiritually, psychologically, emotionally, philosophically, psychiatrically and just in every sense of the word. I adopted these guys over 10 years ago when I was working at the talent agency, WME, in Beverly Hills, California and it's been almost 2 years since I've seen them and been reunited with them. The power of animals and pets cannot be understated and I desperately, desperately needed a boost as I await my "liver diagnosis" from the appointment I have booked next with week with the specialist (which doesn't look good, per the ultrasounds and blood tests) and which I should probably post about on the blog as it could be life-changing, but I don't want to jump to conclusions. It'll be what it'll be. For now, my boys are back. I gave birth to these animals and they were born and bred by yours truly and they instantly recognized me (despite the long absence) and it's just like old times again!! 😀Man, I really really needed this. 

Saturday, June 22, 2019

Hoping, praying and just hoping upon hope...

That I get my cat "Jag" back today. I have "Ringo," the silver tabby, but I really really need the big guy, Jag, aka Jaguar, aka Mick Jagger, aka Jagger. I need "Cat Power." I'm dying. Literally, figuratively, spiritually, emotionally, physically, psychologically, psychiatrically. I need help, I need "a boost." I need my animal(s) back. I need them. I need Cat Power if I'm going to have any shot of pulling this off. I've been bedridden for days. 

I've canceled my approved activities on my official Community Control Offender Schedule for the most basic of tasks, like "getting groceries" or "doing laundry." I just can't right now. I don't function all that many hours out of the day, but I'm usually "thinking" all the time (which can be exhausting). My liver. I just don't even want to think about it. Epstein-Barr, I just don't even want to think about it. The powerful, psychotropic, mind-altering meds...

I just really need Jag back today. I really hope he "gets delivered," being that I can't leave the county and all that "good stuff." Reunite the cats. Bring me my animals. God help me. Please. 

Things "seem" to be coming back "full circle." I'm just trying to follow the signs. This would be of immense help to me and a major, symbolic victory. 

Thursday, June 20, 2019